The Ipsiweariam Constitution states that all men are created equal. As a cost saving measure, a consortium of suit pant tailors posing as constitutional purists pushed through legislation stating that individuals who are not 2.286 meters tall must have their legs surgically altered to adjust their height.
One of the few constants in the universe is that most lifeforms require the ingestion of material to fuel the metabolic process. And while this is true, what is good for the Nemaha Nexaharian Mega Goose will dissolve the digestive tract of a Belthgur Slime Gander. It is for this reason that the warning label…
Remembering a legend. Anthony Bourdain June 25, 1956 – June 8, 2018
Filgorn Gabbertate is credited with the invention of the Parralax Duplicity Drive, or PDD. The PDD drive runs entirely on the brainwaves generated when one lies. Its invention came about when Gabbertate, a card carrying member of the Most Definitely Beneolent Order of Pathological Liars, grew tired of being told to “take his lies elsewhere”…
Disclaimer: Reality has been known to cause adverse reactions in some individuals. Inflammation, muscle discomfort and uncontrolled ticks have been reported in isolated cases. Ask your deity if you are healthy enough for sexual activity as this has been shown to lessen certain side effects. Do not take Reality if you are pregnant or hope…
Value is subjective. In fact, the subjectivity of an item’s value increases in relation to the number of miles between an item’s starting point and end point. For example, a Delorn half-coin might fetch you a sizable estate on Delorn itself, but it’s worth bugger all on Olopetre Six, a scant three light years away.…
The male genitalia of a Raskbutin is shaped like a hand and is located at the end of a shoulder protrusion that looks remarkably similar to an arm. This has made for some very awkward first contacts. Very pleasurable for a Raskbutin, but awkward nonetheless.
The Galactic Comission on Reasonable Absurdity has released its annual report on the “General State of Things”. It indicates that while universe has maintained a steady level of absurdity overall, there are a few pockets of gamma-level absurdity that are causes for concern. As every child with a GX-4 level education knows, or should know…
The Wizzeggerian Ultraquat is the single deadliest fruit in the known universe. Its hard, spiked exterior is covered in a poisonous, gelatinous slime that can render any being, regardless of species, planet of origin, or political leanings, completely and utterly paralysed for several hours. When inhaled the fumes of the pungent, spongy interior have been…
The Galactic Counsel for Sentient Safety once conducted a study on the psychological benefits of holding a towel. It’s findings showed that an individual is more likely to embrace uncertainty and take risks if they know a towel is close at, or preferably in, hand. The counsel also discovered that the nature of the risks…