The Original Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy 1978 Radio Show

As we approach Towel Day, we are coming up with some sweet treats for our followers. One of these treats is the original Radio Show. It is full stereo and very hoopy. Most of you probably encountered with it previously, but for those of you, who didn’t: You are in for a treat. Noted for its amazing use of special sound effects, this little Show made H2G2 as popular as it is now.

Now, I can ramble on, but we both know that you just want to get on with it, so here it goes:

We get it bro, you vape

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Since the First Great Revolt against the Lizards failed, the US government and their Annunaki masters have been trying to find a better way to deliver mind control drugs and nano-bots to the populace.  An elaborate system of filling the air with these substances via commercial airlines worked great for decades, until some guy on YouTube thwarted the entire chem-trail operation.Contrail.fourengined.arp

Knowing that the chem-trail mind control was needed so that the American population would think that FEMA death camps we a pretty good idea, a secret cabal of gingers, lizards and robots met with Hitler in the center of the Earth to find a new way to deliver them.sleestak-original-land-of-the-lost-sid-marty-kroft-1974

With the evil Youtube activists busy exposing the New World Order’s plan to use GMOs to turn people gay, scientists devised their ultimate plot. They would market the chem-trails for direct consumption. Small devices were built and given to Hipsters that would allow them to inhale the chem-trails directly. These hipsters would be bound by the nano-bots to tell  anyone in earshot how this “vaping,” (as they came to call it) is far healthier than traditional cigarettes.

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Patriotic nano-bot dispersal 

The plot would have worked if not for the Chinese. Immediately upon discovering the plot they flooded the market with their own vape-trails, which infected those who inhaled them with Communism and small penises…..even the girls. This has caused two factions of Vapers to emerge. The first, under the control of Hitler and his minions of the NWO, and the second under Chinese Communist dominance.

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Chem trails secretly distributed around the globe 

Since these two warring factions are virtually indistinguishable it is advised that all vapers are avoided. The cease of commercial airline chem-trail distribution has elevated Vapers to the first wave of the attack. Although they come in many forms they can be witnessed most often congregating to discuss parts of their vaping apparatus, coil size, wattage and so on.  They will often be overheard in non-smoking establishments explaining that it isn’t smoke, it is vapor. If you are uncertain, announce that you are going to have a cigarette, the Vaper will not be able to resist telling you all about vaping.

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Editor’s note: Take me to your lizard. Hail Hydra. Originally posted on the Galactichitchhikers.com Mark 1 site, now lost to time. 

Alienated – Where Did My Story Come From?

So, what is Alienated exactly?

I have never made a blog post about it, but it is a project I have been slaving over for a long time now. It all started as my project for the 2014 NaNoWriMo. It wasn’t perfect and I wasn’t quite sure it would survive the first few pages.

The idea for the story came to me probably after a long day out. I was sitting on a bus, on the way home, exhausted and a little bit probably tipsy. No, not drunk… To be honest, I probably only had like two bottles of cider and that’s that. However, I felt quite odd and out of place. My memories are a little bit mushy now, so I don’t know how the idea found me. I was thinking about starting a story that is on a bus, full of strangers, who did not know each other… But what if something happened to them? What if their fate will inevitably cross and doom them to get to know each other…

Now, at that point of blurriness, Aliens came into the picture. What if some of those alien abduction stories were true? What if Aliens do abduct humans with a certain frequency? Maybe they do experiments on them, use them as slaves or impregnate them? It could happen… OF course it is entirely possible that after the abduction you manage to escape, only to figure out you are way too far from home to get back in a whip…

Perhaps you are out there, with a complete nutter, thinking how you would get back to your pale blue planet in time to marry the love of your life…

How would you get back? How long it would take it? Could you survive without having a nervous breakdown and lose your mind completely?

According to the Free Dictionary :

Alienate could mean: “To cause to become withdrawn or unresponsive; isolate ordissociate emotionally.”

alienated also means: adj

“indifferent, unfriendly, or hostile”
Now, It is perfectly plausible that they would feel alienated and isolated in such a situation… But, if you think a little bit longer and play with the words… Perhaps they become aliens too. They must. They are off their planet… Hence they are ALIENated. You got it? Please, humans, tell me it makes sense for you too.
P.S.: Below you may observe the famous bus, being beamed up by a UFO.
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(Originally posted on Demetria Blacksmith’s Official Blog, 2nd April, 2016. )