Good morning/afternoon/evening. I would like to welcome you to what is hoped to be an enjoyable and legally permissible romp into an extended universe inspired by the works of Douglas Adams. My name Is Stu Hambone and I am a field researcher from the planet Earth, improbable as that may seem. It is possible, though also thoroughly improbable that you are already familiar with some of my work. Perhaps most improbably you are here to see more of this work, which as far as improbable probabilities goes is the most probable of all possible improbabilities.
Now that that is out of the way, we can get down to brass tacks. Being a professional field researcher, one has a duty to maintain a strict code of impartial observation of the world around oneself and to provide as thorough and informational description of those observations so as to provide the eventual reader of said accounts useful facts and helpful advice when travelling throughout the universe. It is a solemn duty and one that any professional takes to heart. They do, after all, get handsomely paid and have a healthy expense account.
I, much like the professional, feel it is important to to provide as thorough and informational description of those observations so as to provide the eventual reader of said accounts useful facts and helpful advice when travelling throughout the universe. In many ways we are the same, but there are two very important distinctions that draw a line between my profession as a nonprofessional and the profession of the professional professional. Firstly, I don’t get paid and secondly, I try to have some fun with it.
So I’m closing, if my 36 Tips for Surviving the Elgerrian Dating Scene prove useful, I am equally parts happy to be of assistance and relived that no charges will be pressed.