First Contact Day

Zefram_Cochrane_makes_first_contact(Note: The event description has been edited as to include those temporally located before and after the day of First Contact. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy says that one of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can’t cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.

The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner’s Time Traveler’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.)


Join in the festivities as we celebrate First Contact with the Vulcans, only 46 years and a nuclear war started by genetic supermen away!Cochranes_telescope

In 2063 the famed Zefram Cochrane (will have) launched the first warp one flight, in (what will be) Earth’s legendary starship, the Phoenix. This of course (will have) attracted the attention of the Vulcan ship T’Plana-Hath passing near Earth, who visited (will visit) Zefram on April 5th, in Bozeman Montana, initiating Earth’s First Contact with another sentient race.

5da8a47482913afb69da94363e90e634890a9f3fJoin us as we celebrate Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations!

First Contact Day traditions include (will include):

  • Eating Cheese Pierogis, Zefram Cochrane’s favorite food
  • Rock and roll music, Zefram’s favored fare
  • Put on the pointed ears and post pics!
  • Go to your local Observatory or Planetarium, dream of space, dream of a better future!
  • Do something for world peace, reach out to a neighbor or someone in need. To get to a brighter tomorrow we have to pave the way!
  • Have your own traditions for First Contact Day? Post them in the comments!


No means no, Mr. President


“The point of modern propaganda isn’t only to misinform or push an agenda. It is to exhaust your critical thinking, to annihilate truth.” ~ Garry Kasparov

Not even a  month in office, and it seems like every day there is a new atrocity emanating from the Trump White House.  Every day there is a new executive order, every day another broad step is taken to make this world somewhere we do not want it to be. Trump has trump-piece-of-shit-e1456514579329caused hate to rise, fear to increase, and hope to fall. He has attacked the diversity that makes our nation. He has belittled and endangered the rights of women, threatened our healthcare, insulted an entire religion, and attacked our scientists with an order of silence. He threatens to destroy the EPA, the organization that protects our water, our land, and the very air we breathe.

While claiming to drain the swamp he has filled it anew with racist slime, corporate interests, and paved the way for billionaires to pave over us. He’s handed our education department to an idiot, and endangered our very future by doing so.  Lies and fallacies reign unchecked, alternative facts make for a very Orwellian reality. Science is denied, and a twitter feed mocks our resistance. Openly laughing at our protests, and threatening our freedom of speech; this is a man who has the downloadaudacity to point to a picture of an overcast day and tell us it was sunny.

In rapid succession each executive order is cast upon us like a curse, eroding the progress we have fought so hard for and won. It is happening fast, and there is a reason:

They seek to wear down our resolve.

Trump and his increasingly insidious cabinet know that if we are bombarded with despair we will grow weary with the fight. We’ll tire of being angry and form a thick scab to cover the wounds; cognitive dissonance will replace dismay and outrage. He hopes we’ll lie back and have his way with us, grabbing all that is good, and noble, and true by the pussy.g1bk9g6

Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, we cannot let this happen! For as long as our Star Spangled Banner yet does wave we the American people must fight! We must not build walls we must build bridges. We must not hate, but love. We must celebrate diversity and do everything we can to protect it, and protect our core values. We must not fall for the social engineering they are attempting!

184252 It may seem we are careening towards doom, and we may be…..but history tells that America has never failed to show our best at our darkest hour. This is our time, we have the power! We the People have to stand up and say:


Get involved, stay involved. Write your Congressman, make phone calls, and attend every town hall meeting and protest. Be vigilant and let your voice be heard! Do not be silenced, persist!  Demand Truth, demand science. Demand equality and justice for all. Demand that our future is wrought by hope and fairness, kindness and compassion, rather than hate, bigotry, and despair. Do not tolerate intolerance! Anything good is worth fighting for and now is the time to fight!

We cannot fail, we must not fail, there is far too much to lose.

Love and Towels


“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
-Carl Sagan

As the Vogons take control of the US government, there is a vastness we are facing. That vastness may seem frightening, and it should, it is the dark divide between reason and the lack thereof; but we need not fear…..we have love.

We have love and we have the passion to raise our voices. We have science, logic, and the will to see them benefit all mankind. We can still make this planet a better place, despite the ignorance and hate, despite pettiness and Twitter, despite corporate interests and Honey Boo-Boo as the Secretary of State, and Kardashians in Congress…..we have love.

It’s our sacred duty to uphold our principles now more than ever before in the history of our Pale Blue Dot. We must practice kindness in all we do, and always be excellent to each other. We must demand the celebration of infinite diversity in infinite combinations, and build no walls between us literal or figurative. We must never be cruel or cowardly, we must never give up, and never give in…..we have love.

Don’t Panic! My friends, and froods, and folks; we have love, and love is all you need. (well, Love and your towel, but that’s all we need. Maybe a few beers too, so love, your towel, and beer, that’s all we need.)

Galactic Hitchhikers, it’s time to shine. Hold your heads and towels high, let’s unite under our absorbent banners and tell the people of Earth: WE HAVE LOVE!

**Love and Towels- remind yourself today not to panic, take your towel to work with you. Get a self and hashtag #LoveAndTowels **

Galactic Hitchhikers Presents: Our Big Easy Road Trip!



The moon rises over the bayou, casting a strange glow on the Spanish moss draped in the darkness. Somewhere a pot of gumbo cooks in a Voodoo Queen’s lair. A man orders a po-boy from a restaurant while beside him a jazz musician plays his horn and fills the streets with the sounds of well…..jazz. There are more than likely more things than this in New


There and back again

Orleans, Vampires I guess, but we don’t really know. In fact nobody does.

Boldly we volunteer to finally solve the mystery of what exactly a New Orleans is. Is it really just a single New Orlean, or are there more than one? And what exactly happened to the old Orleans? Grab your towel and join Galactic Hitchhikers in an action packed adventure thrill ride to wow the senses as we hit the road for the Big Easy! To celebrate our recent nuptials, and the general desperate need for a vacation, we are driving from our home near Chicago to New Orleans and back. As is tradition, we’ll stopping at all the finest road side oddities along the way. From mom and pop greasy spoons in the middle of nowhere, to the gift shops that time forgot, Galactic Hitchhikers will leave no stone un-turned to find action, excitement, and really wild things! Or at minimum we’ll be drinking in strange places, rather than drinking until our place seems strange….and/or drinking until our place doesn’t seem strange as mood and/or state of mind decrees; you know: Action and Adventure!

Once in New Orleans we’ll have field reports nightly, posted to our hoopy home on Facebook.

Join Galactic Hitchhikers on Facebook Here

Friday, 10-28-16-While stopping for a couple days in neighboring Slidell LA, we meander the region just outside the city and visit two famous plantations, the Laura Plantation, and Oak Alley. Odds are we can find an authentic Mint Julep somewhere along the way.

Saturday, 10-29-16- After checking in to the famed Roosevelt Hotel, and checking out it’s


Seems like a nice place to get thrown out of

equally famous Sazerac Bar, we’ll visit the renowned Voodoo Museum.  Later that night we’ll take a tour of the French Quarter with as-seen-on-TV Psychic-Tour guide, Voodoo


The Voodoo Bone Lady herself

practitioner and life coach “The Voodoo Bone Lady,” who’ll regale us with tales of voodoo and witches, vampires, and pirates of local lore.


Then back to the bar.

Sunday 10-30-16- We will be touring the Garden District. We’ll scope out the coolest mansions, and see if we can scare up some fun in the Lafayette Cemetery. Later we’ll be touring the French Quarter again, this time with Vampires. We’ll explore the city’s nightlife, and end the evening with drinks in a vampire bar. Maybe someone will give us the choice they never had.

Monday 10-30-16- We’ll raise our glasses at the oldest bar in New Orleans, LafItte’s Blacksmith Shop Bar, and meet with Bloody Mary for a Tour of the Undead. We’ll spend Halloween with ghosts, and voodoo and even more vampires! Then probably the bar again, Always probably the bar again.


Stay tuned, high adventure on the way!

We’ll even be checking in for  Sub-Etha Channel 42 for Therapy Thursday and for the regular Sunday hangout!


Zaxley Nash and wife Devon Nash, Galactic Hitchhikers  Chief of Anthropology  


Bringing the Old Republic to Netflix?


It would likely be a fair assessment to assume that very few Star Wars fans don’t know the tales of Revan and Malak. Of the Jedi Exile, Kraya and Darth Nihilus….and too it would be not too far-fetched to assume that just as many Star Wars fans hate Atton Rand, but not nearly as much as Carth Onasi. tumblr_ma2t93ay151rouj0zo1_400

Fans of Star Wars the Old Republic recently launched a campaign to petition Disney and Netflix to make a series based upon the popular MMORPG. Based some 3,000 years before the Battle of Yavin, the Old Republic is tremendously popular in the fandom.

tumblr_n5d22yeec51seoz5po1_500 Who wouldn’t want to see the First Jedi Purge brought to the screen? No one would turn down Jolee Bindo each week, or HK-47? Jolee Bindo really deserves his own show.  The Star Forge, a massive Sith Empire….Malachor? Epic, Epic, and Epic.  Incidentally, in a recent episode of Rebels the protagonists Ahsoka Tano, Ezra and Kanan vist a Sith Temple on Malachor, could this nod lead to something greater? sithtemple2

The Petition, on Change.Org, aims to reach 150,000 signatures. To date almost 85,000 Old Republic fans have signed.


Will Disney cater to the fandom? We can only hope. It sure doesn’t hurt to sign the petition.



Zaxley and Nicole’s Wedding Reception Shin-Dig Thing


LIVE TODAY! 6pm CST Zaxley and Nicole’s Wedding Reception Shin-Dig Thing!!! (And Friday Bingo) Join us for a very special hangout, celebrating the nuptials of Galactic Hitchhikers founder and wife! Order and pizza, and grab a six pack, see the celebration 13 years in the making!


The world around you is not what it seems…

There is a war for our very minds, and it isn’t coming….it’s already here. Around the globe wear_resistance_portal_bgthere are anomalies, portals that exude a substance called Exotic Matter, or XM, into our world. Exotic Matter is both matter and energy at the same time, and seems to manifest around places where human endeavors have been wrought. Statues and monuments, places of importance or man-man aesthetic beauty open these portals. Investigating scientists and researchers at Niantic Labs developed software to tap into the portals.

There were some who saw this software as a means to control, and weaponized the technology. Persuaded by inter-dimensional aliens called Shapers, they saw XM as the next step in human evolution. The Enlightened, as they call themselves, seek to help the Shapers enter our world, it has already happened at least once. They would fill the Earth and enslave our minds, covering the planet in control fields built by linking portals that they have conquered. Linking3

This planet’s last hope for freedom lies in the Resistance. We are everywhere the Shapers send their denizens against humanity. We fight to liberate the portals they control, armed with our scanners….cell phones transformed by Niantic’s software, we battle these so called Enlightened and the Shaper masters for the sake of all those who call Earth their home.

tumblr_mt55nv8WSr1qknyxlo1_400While I am not originally from this world, I live here now. (At least until I can get a ride someplace cooler.) People of Earth let me tell you this: Inter or cross dimensional types are typically assholes. I mean come on, you have a whole dimension of your own, why bother us? Like a stray Targ, feed them and they will keep coming back; and probably eat your neighbors. Inter-dimensional beings always seem to need something from you, fluid from your pineal gland, 9/16” sockets, or control of your mind….it’s like they never learned manners. A guy from the 10th Dimension borrowed my lawnmower once, they don’t even have grass in the 10th Dimension, and he hasn’t brought it back in 8 years. What is he even doing with it? Come to think of it, I don’t have a lawn either what was I doing with it? Anyways, those sorts are never a good idea to bump elbows with. Do I even need to remind you of that Guide Mark II business?

Blue Towels for the Resistance! We need YOU to join us, and fight against the alien invasion upon us. Even if the machines we built are slowing themselves enslaving us….at least WE built those machines!