Voting has started for the 2021 Towel Day Ambassador Contest. Galactic Hitchhikers got in touch with TDA hopeful Chris Weber, and asked him about his plans should he win the honor.

“There is only one way to save the Universe from the imminent loss of its silliest planet. That is by becoming towel ambassador and controlling the minds of humans.”

Step One
Make a two-minute YouTube video explaining why you will be the best person for the job. It is best to be a little crazy here. Nobody wants to listen to you read from your blog. Maybe try wearing some weird outfit and come up with a gimmick that nobody understands… This is best if you are just a crappy writer.

Another option would work only if you are an attractive person. Wear a bunch of Hitchhiker’s Guide gear and decorate your house like a crazy frood without any real social responsibilities. This is probably the best option.

Inversely, if you are cool, you don’t need to do any of this.

Step Two
Turn on post notifications after joining the Galactic Hitchhiker’s Facebook Group. This will allow you to instantly troll every member of the group with your opinions and thoughts. It is best if you are funny enough to avoid being overly annoying.
Or not.

Step Three
Write a mildly humorous but short blog post for the man that is controlling the contest. Inform him you will soon have control of his mind. He will laugh at this but secretly wish that you were able to do that for him.

Step Four
Take control of the mind of Zaxley Nash and make him share the blog post created in step three.

Step Five
Sit in your basement and laugh like a maniac until voting begins.

Step Six
Win!

“Now I have given away my secrets and I feel a little better about stomping you in this contest. Maybe next year will be better for you. You still have a chance to win the Worst Dressed Sentient Being contest. I have not executed my secret plan for winning that yet.”