June 4th, 2018

The General State of Things

The Galactic Comission on Reasonable Absurdity has released its annual report on the “General State of Things”. It indicates that while universe has maintained a steady level of absurdity overall, there are a few pockets of gamma-level absurdity that are causes for concern.

As every child with a GX-4 level education knows, or should know if they hope to make anything of themselves later in life, absurdity is a basic element required for a healthy, well rounded society. At nominal levels it is physically harmless and intellectually liberating. Its radiation can stimulate neurons in the brains of sentient beings to fire in novel sequences, creating bold new ideas and at times, parody news programs, humorous works of fiction, and troupes of British comedians.

However, at extreme levels Absurdity radiation causes dangerous instability with highly volatile results, rendering even the thickest Reasonability Shielding ineffective. It causes irrational thinking, cementing in place mental pathways that lead to beliefs, declarations, and actions that are both irrational and detremental to those exposed to it.

The full contents of the 38 volume report can be found scattered on the floor of most transit stations, but the main takeaway is this :

Travellers should avoid sector ZZ Plural Z Alpha, or at least Earth.

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